In November, I swore off caffeine. The following events made this experiment a roller coaster with a surprising ending!
In this article, I will share what I learned, and how this experience has changed my relationship with caffeine months later.
To learn why I gave up caffeine check out the article “We need to talk about caffeine” which I wrote just before I went on this hiatus.
To learn how I set myself up for success in this experiment and see how I handled this experience halfway through the month, check out the article “I had no caffeine for 15 DAYS!”
Quick recap
This experiment was inspired when I was researching a different project. In this project, I helped my friend get free from her dependence on energy drinks. See that video here. This project inspired me to write an article where I shared everything that I had learned in my research. In writing this article I became suspicious about my dependence on caffeine.
At the time, I wasn't caffeine-dependent in the way many people are. A long time before that moment, I had resisted the impulse to make caffeine a part of my daily routine for fear of becoming dependent. So, I thought this experiment would be easy. I thought “I’m not doing this because I need to… I just want to say that I can do it.”
I did everything that I could to set myself up for success. In the beginning days of this challenge, I thought, “This might be a little too easy.”
HA! Famous last words!
So much harder than expected!
The full month without caffeine went as follows,
“This is a breeze! This might be the most pointless challenge I’ve ever done.” I was up early every morning to get some movement and sunshine in the form of a morning walk. I was diving into my tea cabinet like never before. And I had that “new project” high. I did have one ALMOST slip-up when some friends and I popped into a cute coffee shop and I almost ordered a White mocha coffee with coconut milk and a splash of raspberry syrup but remembered just in time to order a hot chocolate instead.
“This is not as easy. I hate this. Why is there caffeine in so many things? Grrrrrrr.” Week two is when the cracks began to show. This week I started my period and as fate would have it, I had a lot of responsibilities that needed to be done. About halfway through the week, I made a realization which I shared with my husband. That realization was that I was filled with rage at the fact that I couldn't have coffee at any point, no matter how much the situation called for it. He was not surprised by my confession, as I had hoped, but instead expressed his relief that I saw it too.
“Breath. I can do this. Wow, I didn’t realize this about myself.” This week I made a lot of discoveries about myself and my covert dependence on caffeine. The main one was that, even though I didn’t consume it every day I used it as a crutch whenever I had overextended myself in the service of others. In the past, I had masked this trait from myself by consuming coffee 3-4 times a week to get me through. Now I had to experience the full weight of my commitments. I wrote more about this experience in this post.
“ Home stretch! Just a few more days! I don’t know if I want to go back…” In the final week, you would think that I would be dying to get this experiment over with but I was weirdly content. We even hosted Thanksgiving and friends giving and I felt good. Did I miss coffee? Yes. Did I make 500 cups of coffee and shove them on my guests to live vicariously threw them? 100%! But I not only survived the holiday but thrived during it. I believe that this was in part because I was only doing what I had the natural capacity for and nothing more.
Did I go back to caffeine?
The short answer is, yes.
On the first of December, I had my first cup of coffee, my caffeine source of choice, in over a month. It mattered so much then that I almost made my friends late to an escape room in the name of stopping at a shop for the coveted cup of Jo.
I was so excited as I handed over my money in exchange for the dark comfort drink. Breathed in that delicious scent of beans, I finally took a sip of… the most mediocre cup of coffee I have ever consumed.
Bummed, I finished my cup and assumed that it was a result of a lackluster barista and resolved to try again later. Interestingly enough, I found it a little hard to concentrate on the brain puzzles that we engaged in after that due to the pounding in my chest.
In the time that has passed from the end of my challenge till now, I have probably averaged about 1 cup of coffee watch a week. Some have been made at home, some have been from various coffee shops, and they have all been… fine, I guess.
Is caffeine worth it?
I don’t know if it is. I still maintain that coffee is a useful tool for anyone who may be in a pinch. Jet lag, emergencies, etc. are all times that you may see me reaching for a cup but in my daily life, I see myself letting it go completely.
Why would I drop caffeine so willingly?
It doesn’t taste the same. I don’t know if my taste has changed or if my memory is off, but coffee doesn’t taste as satisfying as it used to.
Caffeine is a lot of hassle. I can’t unlearn everything that I now know about caffeine. The way that it interferes with my body's ability to absorb nutrients, throws off hormones, and interferes with the circadian rhythm, are just a few things that are in the back of my mind as I consume the culturally accepted drug. The steps that I have to take to offset the negative effects of caffeine are not worth it to me. For example, doing the math before I drink my coffee to make sure that it won't interfere with my sleep is not exactly something that I need in my mental load.
When I don’t drink caffeine, I don’t overcommit… as often. As a recovering people pleaser, it is bad for my boundaries. Whether it's saying yes to too many things and overcompensating with caffeine or feeling more anxious about my commitment because of the caffeine-induced adrenaline coursing threw my system, it’s just not helpful.
I am much happier and more relaxed without caffeine than I am with it. I have noticed that with the decrease in my caffeine consumption has come an increase in relaxation and positive interactions in my relationships.
My first period of the winter went well! Often if I'm going to have a painful period. It's going to be during the winter months. Now, I can't say definitively if it's because of my lack of caffeine but there seems to be a correlation between me going a month without caffeine in November and my January period going very well. to learn why the decisions that were made three months before a period can make a difference check out this blog post.
Should you ditch caffeine?
Of course, the decision is up to you. Maybe you are at a point in life where caffeine is a vital tool in your belt. Maybe you have no interest in living without caffeine. If that Is the case, I invite you to check out this blog post to learn the areas that may be negatively affected so that you can better support yourself on the caffeinated path.
But, perhaps you are just a little curious about what it would look like to say goodbye to caffeine, if just for a little while. If my experience is intriguing to you, then I encourage you to check out the other blog post in this series to gather information and prepare for your very own experience.
Whatever you choose, I simply ask that you do it with intentionality.
Recap
In November 2024 I stopped drinking caffeinated drinks entirely. In some ways, this experiment was easier than I thought it would be In other ways, it was a challenge and allowed me to see myself in ways that I had never fully acknowledged. When the month was over I added caffeine back into my life in smaller amounts but have been underwhelmed by its presence and as a result, I have chosen to consume less and less caffeine as the months have gone on. I have found that in general, my life is better without caffeine.
I have documented every step of this journey including a detailed article about all the reasons that I decided to stop drinking caffeine. I hope that my journey can be helpful to you as you make informed decisions about your life.
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